Friday, March 18, 2005

This stuff really works!!

ok just a couple side notes first.

-flew "A" for the first time this past trip (A is the attendant that is basically in charge, gets paid an extra $2 per hr, and gets to make all those announcements from memory) and i had to fly..get this, in one day: ontario (ca)-san jose-san diego-san jose-san diego-sacramento-ontario.

-i thought the steroid hearings were disgusting. everyone looked uncomfortable. that guy who was drilling selig was right. why do they need 5 strikes? my favorite was the guy who "lost his train of thought." thats called "i forgot the story i had made up"

CONFIDENCE. no kidding. this stuff really works. As you know i had to fly "A" the other day, and the first day i read everything out of my manual. its nerve racking to be in front of everyone spouting off pages of material from memory. so i read it. not supposed to, but i did. that night i ended up leaving my manual on the plane, the pilot found it and returned it. but if i had lost that thing i'd be SCCAAARREWED!

so the next day i say "ya know what, forget it. i know this stuff. and i'm not about to lose my manual. i've got 6 legs today, and i'm just gonna throw caution to the wind and jump in." so i did. first leg, i did that REEALLY LONG emergency PA (the one with the mask and everything) and when we're done, my "C" flight attendant said "ya know, that was better than when you read it!" so the rest is history. piece of cake.

that morning i was sitting in my hotel, bout ready to leave, watching tv, when that Enzyte commercial comes on. The one with Bob taking the natural male enhancement. and if you listen closely, what really happens to Bob? Bob gains CONFIDENCE. thats what its all about , friends. confidence.

now, we all need to have limits. i'm not suggesting anyone go jump off a cliff with the confidence that they'll be fine. it probably won't happen.

You wanna approach a girl and ask her out? Forget the nice clothes, the cologne, the "thick, wavy hair" or whatever women find attractive. if you dress strange but your confident about it, the girl thinks your "unique." you know its true. how many beautiful women do you see with not very good looking guys? thousands!!

1988 World Series. Dodgers are down. Coach says "Hey Kirk (Gibson), get in there." Kirk injured himself earlier. Kirk steps up to the plate. you think he's thinking to himself "dang, i'm crippled, can't walk, theres noway i can get a hit!?" if he had, the #1 greatest world series moment might involve a yankee. (and who wants that??) HECK NO! I bet kirk was like "BRING IT ON, ECK! YOU GOT NUTHIN YA BIG PANTYWASTE!" so Kirk smacks a game winning homerun and hobbles around the diamand. BOOYEAH. the man had confidence.



kenny said...

You said:

"how many beautiful women do you see with not very good looking guys? thousands!!"

The flaw in that arguement is that 98% of all hetero guys think 98% of women are beautiful...and that all guys are not very good looking.

Matt Pinson said...

My favorite part of this post was the terrific use of booyeah. Keep it up jerm.

J-Wild said...

Jeremy, in all seriousness how can a baseball fan like yourself have any respect for the likes of Mark McGwire? How can baseball fans, who relish in the "purity" of the game even watch it anymore? Isn't it true that one of the best aspects about baseball is the depth of statisticle comparisons that can happen, yet when the athletes have been juicing themselves for 20 years how can those comparisions be valid?

Considering your love for baseball I would be very interested in getting a comprehensive post from you about all this baseball stuff.

tjmccloud said...

I know nothing about sports but i know that freakin congress has no business telling Baseball how they regulate stuff. If McGqueer is on the juice- prosecute him. Dont call a hearing so everyone can hang around and look concerned for the cameras. AND- In addition to all that I dont know about baseball- JOSE(r) CANSECO is such a tool. I would have shoved my corked bat up his butt if I was Sammy Sosa.