Monday, June 27, 2005

Man Up!

Ok guys its time to get real and man up. Enough of all the lies!!!We've put this mask on to the world, and all these white lies have piled up and now we can't get out of it. Let's come clean.

I've got this theory about guys and alcohol. So close you eyes and imagine you walk into a bar. Everyone has to do this because if you WERE in a bar recently, chances are you don't remember it. SO, let's all imagine.

You walk in, you see a buncha "macho" guys hitting on ladies up at the bar. What are they drinking? Guys are probably drinking beer, girls probably mixed drinks such as fuzzy navels or cosmo's. Right?

Why? Thats the way our society has been turned. But we did it to ourselves. We've been molded to drink this nasty urine-smelling beverage to make us feel like a MAN!!

But cmon. Let's be honest. Guys drink beer just to feel macho. (OR maybe its cheap and we just wanna get hammered) None of us REALLY like it. It's bitter and awful. But if a girl walks up and sees us drinking some girly fruity drink...its over before it began. The best tasting beverages are the sweet fruity ones. I'm sure some of you think i'm a little fairy right now, but I don't care, I'm the only one man enough to admit what we've all been thinking for years, and its time to set the record straight. Margarita's are where its at.

Sorry guys if i've blown our cover. But It's better this way.

FYI: Dad, Mom, Mr. Ambrose, others from my home church, i'm not an alcoholic, i drink rarely if ever, i rarely stray into bars unless the national championship game is on and i've got no tv. But i did go to the doctor not to long ago and he asked me if i drank, i said every once in a while, and he said it was good for me. so there ya go.

10 comments:

Matt Pinson said...

I couldn't agree more. I hate beer. I drink fruity drinks exclusively. I even go fairier than you, I like strawberry margeritas, or dacquiris. I am still a man. Why drink something that's gross?

BSC said...

I have Irish blood in my veins, so I love a good beer. Keep in mind, the mass-produced beers (miller, bud, etc... are not indicative of REAL beer. I suggest a good heweweizen from your local brewery, you may like a honeywheat.

I also like fruity drinks. I also like really stiff drinks, like my special Mounds Iced Teas that are so strong it makes your nosehairs curl back. But I never drink hard stuff straight, has to be mixed.

Remember, I'm not an alcoholic, I'm Irish.

Mr. A. said...

Take a look at Matt. 11:18,19 and John 2:1-11, and draw your own conclusions [and yes, I know there are many other passages that could be examined on this issue]. The thing that is absolutely clear is that there is never an excuse for becoming "drunk" [you must provide your own definition that does not offend your conscience], and if you ever drive [car or bicycle] or show up for work under the influence, I must seriously question both your conscience and your sense.

Anonymous said...

um...mr. A...he never said anything about being drunk. the Bible does say there is no excuse for being drunk....but people did drink in the Bible. (including Jesus) Every once in a while...it's ok. As long as it doesn't become your master, or it does not make your brother (or, sorry girls, sister) stumble.

jeri said...

Jeremy!! Travis does not like beer either. I have always thought that guys who drank it had to be gagging the entire bottle. Fruity drinks all the way!!

kenny said...

Jeremy - just please never let me hear that you ordered an appletini...

LoriLoo310 said...

Who's this "Mr. A" guy and why is he trying to make us feel guilty? My take on this issue: I love fruity drinks, always have. Amaretto sour is my drink of choice. Beer makes me gag, always has.

The Juice said...

hey no hatin' on Mr. A. He's a cool guy. Just tryin' to make sure i don't get myself in trouble. and no i don't get drunk. It's not the issue. We all know thats wrong.

The Future said...

I'm all about the 500 proof sewage that comes out of my toilet!

You think anyone doubts I'm a man when they see me drinking the stuff? Forget about it.

You think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!

Jennifer said...

I am a girl (see the name above) and sometimes I really enjoy a good beer. I am not saying that it is always my drink of choice, but there are times when I would choose a lager over any fruity drink.