Thursday, July 14, 2005

Dont Even Go There

I do need to move one to more important subjects, but I can't let Mr. A. (I won't divulge his identity) get away with his blasphemous statements.

First of all, Golf is as American as fish n' chips. And by that very statement, it cannot be legitimized as "the greatest game to be played by man." It's a game made popular by rich aristocratic tight-wads who've never done a days work in they're life.

I've seen my dad rob a buddy of mine of a home run; an over the shoulder spectacular grab reminiscent of Willie Mays. So that argument is now defunct because my Pa probably IS on the level of Tiger Woods.

The argument of facing Pedro is also ludicris because you hit the ball off a TEE!!!! I did that when I was 4. Let's move on, please.

I do have some other thoughts.

Who's ever heard of a dress code to go play a game? "Hey everybody! Lets all go put on our blouses and our sunday skirts for a pleasant game of candy land!!! yaaayy!!!

Golf is a waste of precious acreage. Period. What kind of game needs a plot of land the size of Asia, then you tick the guy behind you off because you're playing too slow?? "Theres 200 more acres to play on, buddy! move along!" Outrageous.

Baseball has 5 year olds that do the same job as a caddy....who is usually at least 20 years older.

Wasn't there some guy that excelled at golf while he was drunk? Yeah, case closed.

Be a man, use wooden clubs.

Thats it, I'm done, I'm moving on.

-JJ

As an afterthought, this post is not meant to attack Mr. A personally, just his ideals.

6 comments:

Brown Sugar said...

now...though i don't have the bitterness toward golf as you have, i do agree with some of your statements....caddy's...what the heck....why does a dude need a caddy...your going to the same place...carry your own freakin clubs...pull your own dang club out.....you have cart anyway that carries the weight....what next do you need a caddy to help you follow through on your swing..stand behind you.....i think the caddy is smarter than the golfer.....at least in baseball, you give a young kid the chance to hang out with his role models and move the bats that would just pile up if no one picked them up.....but dont' dis the golf courses...they are like masterpieces of landscape architecture...almost majestic looking......not to dis God's design of a certain track of land...but to bring the beauty of one place...to another.....i'm done.

kentbrantly said...

Jeremy, I've gotta say I disagree with your entire anti-golf rampage. Do I play often? No. Am I any good? No. Do I still enjoy it? You bet your white sox. I think much of your obvious hatred for the sport of golf is born out of ignorance. Of course you aren't going to like the game if you don't give it a chance and take the time to try and really understand it. I mean, if I had given up on baseball the first time I went to a batting cage and tried the "little league" speed pitches and missed every one, I'd hate baseball too. But by listening to people like you who understand the game and the strategy (yes there is strategy to baseball), and by getting out there to throw the ball around I have grown to like the game and I even enjoy watching it on TV. Likewise, golf is more than hitting a little ball off a tee into a hole in the ground. There is strategy. Don't dis on the caddies unless your going to talk about professional baseball players who still need base coaches. And you can't compare a pitcher to a tee. If anything, the equivalent of the pitcher in golf is the course itself. Every hole is different. If you are like me and can't hit the ball to the same place twice, every stroke is different, even when you play the same course repeatedly. Golf may cost more than a glove, a bat, and a ball, but it is by no means a game limited to an aristocracy. I know plenty of blue-collar workers who love nothing more than getting out on the golf course on a Saturday morning, as the sun comes up and the grass is still wet with dew.
He is a little man who can't even try to at least appreciate, if not enjoy, a game such as golf before he belittles the game itself and all those who play it.

ps - professional golfers never use carts. they have to walk the course.

kenny said...

Mr. A. and kentbrantly are my new heros. Your last two rants Jeremy show nothing but your naivete about golf. If you're gonna dis something that other people love, at least have the experience and knowledge to back it up. Mr. A. said it best when he re-quoted: "For those who understand, no explanation is needed; for those who don't [or won't] understand, no explanation is possible."
Rock on.

Mr. A. said...

Jeremy,
No offense taken. Maybe we'll continue this discourse someday over a beer. [Just kidding!] Meanwhile, keep up the good work. And, kenny and kentbrantley: Let's tee it up sometime.

Cherese said...

really jeremy...is is that big of deal? I can't see me ever wanting to play golf, I'm not interested, but I don't give a flying flip if someone else wants to play it. I mean are you really that upset about people who enjoy golf....are there are lot of people in your life right now trying to pressure you into it? I mean what was it that made the last straw fly straight up your "hole in one?" I'm curious to know.

kenny said...

Anytime Mr. A., anytime. Maybe we'll let Jeremy round out the foursome and we can teach him a thing or two.