Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Just smile and nod

Wheres Jeremy? I forgot my camera on my last trip, so I had to dig this one up.

I had a realization about myself the other day. My parents think I moved to NY after college to "find myself." Unfortunately it's still going on. But I guess that could be a good thing.

Not too long ago, a tragedy happened. I'm not going into specifics, but it was something that no one wants to happen, and it happened to someone very close to me. As I went throughout the day, I would tell people what was going on. One one specific instance, I told a certain person the tragedy that had happened..and her first reaction was "Why are you smiling?"

I was shocked.

"I dunno." I said.

I felt like a sick person. Someone who gets happy about bad things happening to other people. But I knew that wasn't true. I truly had no idea why I was smiling. I mean I never cried when things like this happened, I accepted that as true. But smile? Thats just low.

And it still happens to this day. Katrina hit. I smiled.

But it hit me the other day. I dunno why it came upon me, what spurred me to think about it..I really don't even remember having time to reflect upon why I do things the way I do. But it came to me.

When things like that happen, my face doesn't know what else to do. So it smiles. In other words, I HAVE NO FROWNY FACE. I don't think it exists. I mean I have a blank stare. I can do that with the best of them. But when your confronted with a tragedy, you're face has to do something. It can't just sit there. Mine? It smiles.

Thats all it knows.

On a sidenote, I just won January Flight Attendant of the Month in Chicago! Yay! They gave me a green pass for it, which is a pass that is a confirmed ticket. Instead of standby. Sweet.


Anonymous said...

do you ever cry?

The Juice said...

not in about 6 years.

kentbrantly said...

congrats on the award!

i think sometimes tragedy makes a guy smile not because he is happy about the tragedy, but simply because of the sensationalism that accompanies tragedy. it's a smile of disbelief, or awe - not of joy. i understand your difficulty. you aren't alone.

Brown Sugar said...

i cry every day...about the negative attitude, belittlement, scrutiny, and death wishes against household cats...i've never used the word scrutiny..i cry about that and i hope i used it correctly

The Future said...

You're too happy in everything else to be sad.

You can't help it if you're always all smiles.

Why did you go to NYC? You don't even like the Yankees... or maybe you do?

K-Rock said...

Dude, I don't cry either,'re the Flight attendant of the month man! Nothing to cry about!

jhart said...

I know you don't have a frowny face. Neither does my husband, but my son has it down pat. We miss you!