Sunday, July 23, 2006

Vomit Man!!!

I've tried telling this story the last 2 days, unfortunately both times were over dinner and it hasn't fared very well. So put down the easy mac for a second, will ya?

I've got a new nickname. Maria and J.C. have dubbed me vomit man. Go ahead and give me a cape, because its well deserved.

Yesterday I had to work three flights. Chicago-Baltimore-Norfolk-Vegas. I had 3 people puke. 1 on each flight.

The first kid made the entire mess in the little baggy that we give you in the seatback pocket. (Complimentery, I might add). He just asked for a little air-sickness pill. No problem.

While landing in Norfolk, the guy in the back row starts yelling at me to get napkins, cuz the kid next to him just spewed. He made half of it in the bag. The remaining chunks went on himself, the floor, the seatback, and the other guy's shoe. Unfortunately neither I nor either passenger could get up out of our seats because we were seconds from touchdown.

"You can stew in the puke for a couple of seconds, sir. It won't kill you."

Not actually what I said...but that is what he had to do.

We got both of them cleaned up and off the plane, then I started working on the seats, and get it all cleaned up, not seconds before somebody else sat there. For real, I cleaned it up good, you couldn't even tell.

From the beginning of our trip to Vegas (5 Hrs en route, by the way) this guy was going to the bathroom. He'd gone twice in about and hr and a half, and I asked him if he was alright. he said he was fine, to not worry about him. Before he went back to his seat I made sure that he knew where the COMPLIMENTARY puke bag was. He assured me that he did, and he was on his way.

About another hour later, I'm standing in the back with J.C. and Maria (who doesn't DO vomit) when said gentleman comes screaming to the back of the plane, cheeks puffed out like my picture at the beginning of this post, straight for the bathroom. Unfortunately the Lav was occupied, and as J.C. scrambled for a trash bag and Maria practically jumped into me trying to get out of the way, the gentleman just let it ALLLLL go right there in the galley. We finally got a trash bag to him, and he went some more.

Really, it was pretty gross.

Maria escaped towards the front of the plane, leaving me to clean up YET ANOTHER spill with the help of J.C. Luckily its a lot easier to clean it off the galley floor than the carpet.

So yeah, I guess new nickname fits. Maybe they'll make a movie of me someday.



Anonymous said...

Jeremy, I'm going to ignore this blog, because it totally grosses me out. I ignored you over dinner last night too. And while we're on the subject of dinner, I hate to inform you, but you came to New Orleans one day too early. Tonight mom and I had the best sauteed crab claw dinner, compliments of a wonderful lady down on the the bayou. As I was leaving the home of a Mrs. Gonzales in Yscloskey this afternoon, she insisted that I take a bag of fresh crab claws home to mom. I tried my best to graciously turn her down, but she insisted. I wish you were here. Nothing better than seafood fresh from the boat. We were thinking of Brian and Leslie (and you of course) as we ate.
See ya soon. It was great to see you last night. Come around more often.

Tidmore said...

So are you "VOMIT-MAN" because you induce vomiting in people when they get on your plane or because you come to their rescue and are constantly cleaning up vomit?
This sounds like a dumb question, but really it makes all the difference in the movie. Because Vomit inducing man would fight crime by making criminals constantly vomit, or he could be a villian who robs places, and steals cars (like Earl) by causing their owners, people near-by, etc to vomit while he does his dirty work.
While Vomit cleaning man would fly around, or drive around in the Vomit-Mobile and clean up after people who have just vomited. and that just doesn't sound like as good of a movie (although I love the idea of a Vomit-Mobile!)